Club Med

Last weekend we went to Club Med for our company trip. First time for me.
We were greeted in the most cheesy fashion by a group of GOs (Guest Officers) doing the Big Wave Hello.

The GOs wore Club Med polo tees, shorts and track shoes. A wholesome sight.

The first night there was the "Michael Jackson Show". It was like a high school musical where the guests (majority from China) all sat on foldable plastic chairs and clapped to the music of MJ.

Time to get wasted. I had about 10 Bintang Beer by now and I did not feel anything more than a very slight buzz, like being a little sleepy after gym. But free flow of childproof-beer-flavored fizzy drink was calling to me. That's when I realized something.

The same GO from Korea who showed me to my room was the bartender who gave me the beer-flavored fizzy drink. She had now put on smoky eye make up and a black babydoll dress.

So it turned out the people who work in Club Med need to wear many hats. They are jack of all trades, sadly, master of none. The MJ dancers were made up of people who manned the trapeze, who were also GOs, and probably the chefs behind the truly unremarkable buffets at the main restaurant.

On the last night we watched the Circus show. The people who manned the Trapeze performed a pretty good Circus act. So that was quite entertaining. Lots of respect went to the crew. One of the supporting acts was done by Gid, our GOs for the trip. Who also conducted team building games yesterday.

I think Hollywood should make reality tv about Club Med. Imagine the episode where 16 year old Kim from Korea is assigned to the Madonna show as Madonna. Watch how Kim transforms from a teenager to hot and sultry performer. All the tears, romance and bitching. It'll be better than Dancing with the Stars.

About 10000 years ago when I was a teenager, I applied for a Summer job with Club Med. I did not pass the interview. People like me who have sneer in us will never be able to work in Club Med. Thanks to Club Med, I have gained a new level of understanding to recruitment ads that says "Are you a team player, who has a can-do spirit and love interacting with people?" - because that translates into silly grins at people I don't give a fuck care about, waving my hands at them to welcome them and then again to say goodbye, doing stupid line dancing with them, putting on stupid background dancer costumes and dance like I were a dancer for a TV station back in the 80s.

So yeah, don't think Club Med is my cup of tea. Bora Bora, anyone?